'Pacy, ptayful and very funny, an inventive mix of myth and modernity, magic and crime' - Time

'Colfer has the ability to make you laugh twice over: first in sheer subversive joy at the inventiveness of the writing, and again at the energy of the humour' - Sunday Times

HAPPY was not a word often used to describe Artemis Fowl's bodyguard. Jolly and contented were also words that were rarely applied to him or to people in his immediate vicinity. Butler did not get to be one of the most dangerous men in the world by chatting with anyone who happened to stroll past, unless the chat concerned exit routes and concealed weapons.

On this particular afternoon Butler and Artemis were in Spain, and the bodyguard's Eurasian features were even more taciturn than normal. His young charge was, as usual, making Butler's job more complicated than it needed to be...

Chapter 1: Blast to the Past

Chapter 2: Doodah Dag

Chapter 3: First Impression

Chapter 4: Mission Impossible

Chapter 5: Imprisoned

Chapter 6: Dwarf Walks into a Bar

Chapter 7: Bobo's Run

Chapter 8: Sudden Impact

Chapter 9: Turned Tables

Chapter 10: Kong the King

Chapter 11: R Long Nag Down

Chapter 12: Heart of Stone

Chapter 13: Out of Time